I feel the need to blog, even though I don't have much to say that is worth while, nor do I have any pictures to put up here thanks to my computer sucking. This laptop is so very slow that uploading pictures is impossible and it makes me sad that I officially can't do much of anything from my house anymore.

I do want to say Happy Birthday to my brother. So, uh, Happy Birthday Ry! Hope it was decent. Mom brought you a freezer so life can't be too bad right? Oh and congrats on your new computer...I am seriously jealous and very happy for you at the same time. No really I am.

I need to admit that I cried when my laptop died. I cried and raged and really really wanted to kick something. No, I wanted to kick the computer but that wouldn't make anything better and probably make my foot hurt. I didn't realize how dependant I was on the darn thing. Sad to say, but I feel like someone in my family died. It's left that kind of hole. It was my link to the world outside my home. I haven't had a car during the day since August. Everything that I need to do outside my home I have to schedule around when I can get a ride from someone. The good thing about this is that I have to be a lot more organized and I have figured out that I can actually walk to a lot of places and back and I won't die. Pushing a double stroller loaded to the gills isn't exactly easy (about 150lbs really...not pleasant going up hill and slightly dangerous going down) but if I plan right I can get us out and about. I plan all my "after dad gets home" outings with care since I know I will only have so long to be gone before it is time to get everyone ready for bed.

The down side to not having a car is I am completely cut off from all the fun and sanity saving things that I used to be able to do. I used to go to lunch with a great friend from work every now and again, but I haven't done that since before August. I can't do any grocery shopping unless someone takes me. I can't get Cady to any play groups or activities unless someone is willing to pick us up and take us back home. I have to schedule school and Dr.'s appointments for times when I know I will either have a car or a ride. I do want to say that I am super grateful to the wonderful people who help me with rides and cars (mostly my mom and mother-in-law), but it has been very very hard for me to be so dependant on others for just about everything. I am naturally a very independent person and I know that the Lord is teaching me, but it has been extremely hard.

When my computer died I lost a very vital connection with those people in the outside world. I felt crushed and very alone. It was the one thing I had in my house locked, kid crazy world that was keeping me sane. Granted I didn't even spend that much time on the computer with two small kids around, but it was nice to be able to reach out to people when and if I wanted.

I am really glad that I still had this old computer around, but it won't do for very long. I am dreading uploading pictures for my web class on this thing. I may not even try since it freezes when I have more than one program open. Poor thing. I think the funniest thing about all this was plugging this old computer in and turning it on. One of the first things that popped up was Windows Update. It informed me that I hadn't updated in close to 1000 days and would I like to search for updates? It took us the whole first day we used it to get the darn thing up to date.

So enough of my little pity party ramblings. I am feeling and doing much better now that I am finally starting to get a bunch of my information back. I did a lot of my bills online and it has been a small nightmare getting all the login information back and my routine back to normal. Thanks to all of you that sent me your info! It was much appreciated!