Some of you may know that I have been trying to lose weight for almost 10 months now. Trying and failing. By trying I mean I would exercise as much as I could get in everyday before the kids would try killing themselves or Rory's insane screaming for me to hold her made working out pretty pointless. I could usually get a good 30 minutes in. I was watching what I ate as well, but not as strictly as I could have. I have never been good at following a set diet plan. I do better just watching my portions of the things that I like to eat, while adding in some new things slowly here and there. Not that I'm not up for new things, I am, but I do have true aversions to certain foods and sooooooooo many "diet" plans include large amounts of my aversion foods. I realize that I sound like I am making up excuses, but honestly I am trying to save myself pain and sometimes embarrassment. Case in point: Tofu. I have several healthy minded friends that have told me time and again that I just need to substitute Tofu for certain other things and that I would feel fuller and it would be healthier, etc. Like I said, I am game for new things so I went out and got some to give it a try. I then spent the next 12 hours vomiting. Yes, vomiting. It was horrible. I am not allergic to Tofu. I have no idea why this happens to me, but it does. I have an extremely sensitive gag reflex when it comes to fish. I love the taste, but after about 3 bites I can't force anymore down no matter how much I like it. There are some other things as well, but you get the point. So for a while now I have been working out and trying to eat better and nada. My body has changed dramatically since my high school days when all I had to do was exercise and my body would stay where I wanted it. Now it takes much much more.
When Brady and I got married I weighed 123 pounds. This past Monday I weighed in at 160 pounds even. I have never weighed this much (when not pregnant) in my entire life. My Dr.'s assure me that I am not unhealthy yet, but I know I am because my body is screaming at me to get the weight off. A week ago I was getting extremely discouraged about it in general. I don't like the woman in the mirror and mirror woman is stubbornly hanging on for dear life (or at least the last 10 months). The worst part is that I can't even blame it on pregnancy! I ALWAYS lose my pregnancy weight within 2 months of having the baby. At the 2 month mark I am always back to where I was before getting pregnant. I feel very lucky, but despite nursing both girls for over a year and staying active and really stepping it up for 5 of those 10 months I GAINED weight. It's frustrating, especially because I have no major medical reason to blame, nor have I had trouble losing in the past.
After two days of self pity (that is the max I will allow myself on any topic) I decided to make some major changes. I found a good tracking app on my iPhone to help me really count my calories (thank you Stef for that one...I remembered reading on your blog about the one you use and you are right! It ROCKS!) The app is called Lose It and it is free. It figured out how many calories I can eat a day if I want to get to my goal weight by losing 1 or 2 pounds a week. It will even help you maintain a weight. You can also input any exercise you have done and it will keep track of that. I have also started taking the girls and the dog on as long of a walk my body can stand (the girls in the stroller are heavy to start, then you add in all the major inclines here in Providence and I am burning everywhere in no time). Once my body gets used to the walks again (I'm giving it 2 weeks) I will then add back in my videos. I think I have picked some good ways to get back on track.
The plus side? I started on Monday with the tracking and my current weight is 155.5. I have already lost 4.5 pounds. I anticipate gaining some of that back temporarily since Aunt Flo will be dropping by today or tomorrow for her monthly visit, but I anticipate that I will have lost some more by the time she leaves.
I wanted to post this here so that I feel more motivated to meet my goals. :o) With you all checking up on me every now and again I won't want to let you down. Plus I want to prove that this can be done. Like I said before, this has never been an issue for me until now. I have always been lucky enough to stay thin pretty easily so this has been humbling and challenging. So keep me in line you guys! I will be weighing in weekly and I hope that I see some changes.
I will say that I feel better now that I am back to exercising vigorously (I have been coming home from these walks pretty wiped out). Thank you to those of you at church who have offered to run with me. Sadly running is not something I can do well, as I have a heart murmur and I have been advised to avoid running and sports like soccer that involve a lot of steady running back and forth. I do play Volleyball and Softball and I can ride a bike (and pull the kids).
PLEASE feel free to share any ideas with me. I can use all the variety I can get my hands on! And thanks for reading all this and for your help in keeping me accountable. I want to be bikini ready next year (even if I wouldn't be caught dead in one!)
Until next monday...
